When you’re a child you will believe what your parents tell you. No need to think they wouldn’t tell you the truth, right? It’s after you get older that you realize your parents told you lies about certain things, okay a lot of things. I bet yours probably lied to you as well. Explaining to a child ‘where babies come from‘ wasn’t something a parent told a child, in my time. These days, there isn’t a lot a parent doesn’t explain to a child, in a lot more detail than I had ever said to my own children. For instance, you never used anatomical names for body parts. If you’ve read my post about my oldest in the grocery store yelling, “F***, F***, F***, F***you’ll understand why I didn’t tell them. Eventually I told them the correct terminology but it wasn’t until they were older and I thought they would understand. That said, I have boys and telling a boy he has a penis instead of a dewey produced fits of laughter. Being a parent is hard!
- Do people live on the moon? Martians live on the moon.
- Why is Brutus on top of Buffy? When the boy dog is on top of the girl dog he’s wrestling with her.
- You can’t get pregnant if you jump up and down after sex right?
- I was positive my dad was a magician/logger. I really believed that especially when he could make his ice cream disappear faster than I could mine.
- As long as you had cheques there was a never-ending supply of money. My mother’s philosophy.
- Swallowing apple seeds will grow an apple tree in your tummy.
- Buffy had to go live on a farm where she could play with other dogs.
- Where do babies come from? A stork drops them off.
- When you start shaving, the hair grows back thicker and longer.
- You get to speak 10,000 words a month so you better be careful you’re already at 9000.
- He’s not dead he’s just sleeping.
- If you pick your nose your head will cave in.
- Your drum broke so I had to send it away to be fixed.
- I will see you, I have eyes in the back of my head.
- When the ice cream truck is playing that song it means they are out of ice cream.
These are good. You’re welcome!
- It’s chicken. That’s what you like the best.
- McDonald’s is closed.
- If you lie Santa won’t come to our house.
- Are we there yet? Just two more minutes.
- I think you’re speeding Mom. It’s okay, the signs are guidelines.
Lying to your children is not right unless you have a good reason for doing so. Only you know what your child can handle at each stage of their development. Using a little white lie is not a big deal if it serves a greater purpose at the time. Eventually you will fess-up and explain the right answer, we all did.